Never be lonely again! Action-figure ULTRA is here! Dress him up like Ed Harris from The Abyss and save the world from nuclear destruction; or throw a wig and dress on him like Mama Fratelli from The Goonies and find buried treasure in the Pacific! The scenarios are nearly limitless! You are impeded by your imagination alone!
Angry? Defile ULTRA with torture! Burn his feet or maybe just a toe! Poke his groin-area with painful viciousness, until nothing but a hole remains! Cut him out and stuff his head up his butt! Fold him in two, and then skewer him with cocktail umbrellas! Go crazy! Put white military issue underclothes on him, present him with a 7.62 Full Metal Jacket rifle and show him the restroom! There are no laws protecting Action-figure ULTRA!
Going on a business trip alone, or has your loved one gone on a business trip? Print two ULTRAs, carefully cut them out, staple them together along the edges, then stuff him full of soft down. Place him right beside you, but don’t worry! He only makes a move if you choose, but he’s best as a comforting pillow!
Want to relay advice (or maybe bitch out your boss), but don’t want to deal with the consequences of having said it? Make ULTRA do the dirty work. Simply pencil in a word or thought balloon next to him with what’s on your mind, and then put him in a public area for the advisee to read. He sticks easily to refrigerators with magnets!
Feel free to download as many copies of Action-figure ULTRA as you need here! Don’t forget to give him treats from time to time. He’ll need the energy!
7 Comments
Does the Ultra Doll… er, ACTION FIGURE, come with super crippled leg action? Black nail polish?
It does come with super-cripple action, but you have to purchase the battle damage leg seperately. It currently comes covered in a sock.
Does Action-Figure Ultra come with a few select household items including a T.V. and fridge? If so, then I think each appliance should be sold with a bottle of Tequilla and a popular phrase book that includes phrases like, “Whoodidit?!” and “Carlos SUX!” If so, then I’m fuckin’ SOLD!!
whooodiddit??!! (Johnny_Gaijin says it better)
I need someone to play HALO 2 with, will the ULTRA action figure be a reliable opponent? I hate to lose if thatz helpful.
Also on side note wifey also agrees Green Tea Fraps are rulesville!
I usually hit Backspace Game Gallery every Monday night and play some Halo2. Since moving though, I haven’t replaced my television, so I can’t play here at my apt yet. Once I get a job and actually start making dollars again, I’ll get a TV and challenge ya, till then, Monday nights is probubly it.
Hey… does Ultra Dolly want to come to my school and help me prove and disprove math theorys?
Yo Lynn, P.Land made you all skinny!
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