ZEITGEIST

I think that the summer movie season is going to be great. Yes, a man who almost never enjoys most summer movies is declaring that. Why? Well, I went to X-Men: The Last Stand this weekend and it was actually very good. Despite what super nerds tell you about it being horrible—don’t listen to those idiots. Yeah, it’s a movie—not a comic book. It’s not going to be 18 hours long and have all continuity from the comic books. Get over it!

Anyway, I really enjoyed it. The action was great, the special effects were mostly good and the story was passable. The writing was a little cheesy, but comic book writing isn’t exactly Shakespeare, either. So yes, go and watch X-Men: The Last Stand and have a good time. It’s not high art, but it’s not tepid garbage, either. It has a heart in it somewhere… even if it is wrapped in silicone.

Other than movies, I have just been eating at a lot of restaurants. Greek (not so great), Japanese, Japanese sushi, Japanese-Italian Fusion, Indian… fish tacos. I’ve been hitting it all. Fish tacos are overrated, by the way. And why people can’t just make that at home (far away from Hawaii) is beyond me. This is the frickin’ 21st century! Anyway, I figured I might as well eat some good food while I’m still in Hawaii. Montana has great food, too, but not as much ethnic variety. I can’t wait to have some good Thai food, though, which Kalispell strangely has a restaurant for. Ohh, and some Mexican food!

And just so she knows, this posting is dedicated to Sharon, who has been in a sad mood lately. Cheer up, little lady, things will be okay! Don’t push yourself so hard. ; )

Yes, I, as well, hope to get back to goofy posts about nonsense stuff soon. I think I will share my movie script ideas, as well. They don’t all suck—I promise. Okay, maybe I can’t promise that, but they will most-likely-but-probably-will suck. I’ve been out of the loop a while.

Proposed Yellowstone County Obscenity Ordinance
WHEREAS, Sections 7-5-131 through 7-5-136, Montana Code Annotated, provide a method for proposing and adapting ordinances for Yellowstone County, Montana; and WHEREAS, the dissemination of obscene materials constitutes a public nuisance and presents a danger to the health, safety and welfare of the citizens of Yellowstone County; and WHEREAS, obscenity is not protected by the U.S. Constitution for any age group, pursuant to Miller v. California, 413 U.S. 15, 93 S.Ct. 2607, 37 L.Ed.2d. 419 (1973) WHEREAS, Section 45-8-201(5) Montana Code Annotated authorizes the adoption by said county of an ordinance more restrictive as to obscenity than the existing provisions of section 45-8-201, Montana Code Annotated.

Now, THEREFORE, the following ordinance shall be in full force and effect in all of Yellowstone County, Montana.

(1) A person as defined in (3)(c) commits the offense of obscenity when, with knowledge of the nature or character thereof, he purposely or knowingly:
(a) sells, delivers or provides or offers or agrees to sell, deliver or provide any obscene writing, picture, record or other representation or embodiment of the obscene to anyone;
(b) presents or directs an obscene performance as defined in (3)(b) or participates in that portion thereof which makes it obscene to anyone;
(c) publishes, exhibits or otherwise makes available anything obscene to anyone;
(d) performs an obscene act or otherwise presents an obscene exhibition of his/her body to anyone;
(e) creates, buys, procures or possesses obscene material as defined in (3)(a) with the purpose to disseminate it to anyone; or
(f) advertises or otherwise promotes the sale of obscene material as defined in (3)(a) represented or held out by him to be obscene.

(2)A thing is obscene if:
(a) the average person, applying contemporary adult community standards, would find that the material, taken as a whole, appeals to a prurient interest in sex as defined in (3)(d); and
(b) the average person, applying contemporary adult community standards, would find that the work depicts or describes, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct as defined in (3)(f); and
(c) a reasonable person would find that the work, taken as a whole, lacks serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value.

(3)Definitions.
(a) “Material” is both singular and plural and means any item, article, exhibition or live performance, including any book, magazine, newspaper, film, video recording or other visual or written material; or any picture, drawing, photography, motion picture or other pictorial representation; or any statue or other figurine; or any recording, transcription or mechanical, chemical or electrical reproduction; or any other article, equipment, computer hardware and software, or computer generated images or messages; or any public or commercial live exhibition.
(b) “Performance” means any motion picture, film, videotape, played record, phonograph or tape, broadcast, preview, trailer, play, show, skit, dance or any other exhibition performed or presented to or before an audience of one or more, transmitted by means of electrical, radio, television, telephonic or other communicative device or facility to a known closed or open circuit audience of one or more persons or to the general public.
(c) “Person” means any individual, corporation, company, partnership, firm, association, business, establishment, organization or other legal entity of any kind.
(d) “Prurient” means a lascivious, erotic, shameful, abnormal, unhealthy, degrading or morbid interest in sex, nudity, excretion, sadomasochistic sexual abuse, as defined in (3)(e), or lewd exhibition of the genitals. Where the material or performance is designed for or primarily disseminated or promoted to a clearly defined deviant sexual group, rather than the public at large, the prurient-appeal requirement is satisfied if the dominant theme of the material or performance, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest in sex of the members of the intended and probable recipient group.
(e) “Sadomasochistic sexual abuse” means actual or simulated flagellation, rape, torture or other physical or sexual abuse, by or upon a person who is nude or partially denuded or in a condition of being fettered, bound or otherwise physically restrained for the actual or simulated purpose of sexual gratification of abuse or represented in the context of a sexual relationship.
(f) “Sexual Conduct” means ultimate sex acts, normal or perverted, actual or simulated; masturbation; excretory functions; lewd exhibition of the genitals; or sadomasochistic sexual abuse as defined in (3)(e).

(4) A person as defined in (3)(c) convicted of obscenity shall be fined a maximum of $500 or imprisoned in the County jail for a term not to exceed 6 months, or both.

(5)Severability.
If any phrase, clause, sentence, section or provision of this ordinance or application thereof to any person or circumstance is held invalid, such invalidity shall not affect any other phrase, clause, sentence, section, provision or application of this ordinance, which can be given effect without the invalid phrase, clause, sentence, section, provision or application; and, to this end, the provisions of this ordinance are declared to be severable.

This lovely piece of proposed legislation is coming up on your June ballots, voters of the Billings area. This pile of shit smells strongly of Christo-fascism.

Let’s go over some of the phrasing that this uses and clarify, just for the record: Article (2), subsection (c) makes mention of a ‘reasonable person’. Just to clarify, the reasonable person, by whose standards all of this is being compared to is a minister from Ravalli County, Montana, where this has already been inacted after being introduced to the ballot there by him.

Let’s look at Article (3) subsection (a), Material… Basically what this is saying is that ANYTHING that ANYONE MIGHT find offensive (ie ‘reasonable person) would be outlawed. And let’s not mince words about this. Michaelangelo’s ‘David’, would be considered obscenity under this ordinance. Hip-hugger pants on women, if there’s an INKLING of underthingies showing, could be outlawed by this ordinance. Any movie that some ‘reasonable person’ might perceive as containing offensive material, would be outlawed. Any album by ANY artist that some ‘reasonable person’ might perceive as offensive, will be outlawed. Basically, under this ordinance, merely cursing in public could land you a $500 fine or 6 months in jail. Think about that a minute, people.

Article (3), subsection (d) should be of particular import to the homosexual community of the Yellowstone County area. Think about these definitions in context. Basically this subsection, using the phrasing ‘normal or perverted, actual or simulated’ in the context of Article 1, subsection (d) would outlaw any sex act that the aforementioned ‘reasonable person’ would find ‘perverted’. And I think you, the local gay community, knows how right-wing Chrisitan ministers view your sexuality. You can bet that YOU are the true target of this proposed legislation. Make your voices heard at the polls. Don’t sit by and think “Well, there’s no way anybody will let this pass”. Is that chance you want to take when you could face fines or jail time simply for having sex with another consenting adult? I hope not. VOTE IT DOWN!

I think it’s time for a wake-up call, people of Billings and Yellowstone County. This lovely piece of legislation has been put on the ballot, without the required signatures needed to add it TO the ballot, by conservative douchebag judge, Russell Fagg (real name). Let’s not pretend that this will just go away if we ignore it. This legislation, granted, is unenforcable, but should be voted down as a testament that this type of right-wing, Christian-Coalition legislation will not fly in a democracy founded on freedom and the separation of church and state. This is the exact type of legislation you’d see enforced, I dunno, in let’s say Taliban-run Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia maybe. This is theocratic legislation, NOT democratic. And I’ve said it before, if any of you people want to know what it’s like to live in the ‘freedom’ of a religious theocracy, move to Iran for a while and try it on for size.

Get out there on June 6th and let them know that this type of societal censorship will not be tolerated. So if you beleive in freedom of expression in life, movies and music make your voices heard on vote this down. This proposition is geared heavily towards the ‘industry of the erotic’, as well. Now I know that MOST people out there masturbate and generally TO something such as pictures, videos, etc… This ordinance would make illegal ALL of the material in your ‘Spank Bank’, including online sources. So if you masturbate, vote NO on this ordinance on June 6th.

Point being: We should send a message to people trying to shove legislation like this onto us, that it will NOT be tolerated or approved in our area. Is this kind of freedom-killing legislation what we have thousands of troops dying and killing thousands of Iraqis for? I don’t think so.

But, dear friends, since I’m SURE several people would find this ranting-zone of a blog offensive, if this passes, I’d definitely be spending a lot on fines or heading to the ‘Butt-Hut’ for lovely 6 month stays.

Yuka got married last year without even so much as the courtesy of even emailing me. I feel like dirt.

It starts with the ending of the beginning of the wanting of the drumming of the howling inside cowering.

Make sense of that, for what you want, then push it in front and let it rot.

It tickles the eyes to think of the lies that are made for dimes in the times of your lives to abscess the quarter of your minds.

Wish for the mark of the beast to the feast for the ever-loving taste of sweetly tainted veil.

Kiss the curb and foil the sky, to get the laughs and avoid the brine inside the pale light of the master class.

Swing fast, before it’s too strong in the dawn of the chamber of the inside bail of silvery vestments.

Wave goodbye to the weeping gem with them so smug in their arterial viscera.

Don’t give up the glut, for it is the musk of the lust for the cool shavings of mighty alms.

Wait for the time when the sea slime walks to the side and waves goodbye to whatever inner-conspiracy you felt for the melting tine.

Laugh in line with the standing startled mimes and forget within the external, maternal natural polish.

End the beginning of the forest to the mouth outside the chamber of the hearing.

I just found out something VERY important. 7-Up® is way better to mix with vodka than Sprite®. Why that is must be a formula issue… and I’m sure bartenders will all say I’m a moron for coming to this conclusion now.

But it’s STILL a revelation!

And to tie this all together, it always seems more difficult to buy 7-Up® than Sprite®. It’s a huge Coke conspiracy… a cocaine conspiracy. Those damn pushers buying all of my 7-Up® to make their contraband more citrus-y! The humanity! Oh, the humanity!

[As a warning, some of these links are NSFW (Not Safe For Work)… I feel obliged to warn right now as I don’t want you to cry.]

The hiatus is over and I am back to writing! This first post will be somewhat of a personal issue that has kicked me in the head the past two days. So if you’re not really into ready a somewhat serious post from Doctor Awesome™, then read some crap about banjo playing, or something.

Hey… I’m not the one who told you to buy a banjo! As I recalled, I was the voice of reason that said the banjo is just a fad. A fad!

So what has been bothering me the past few days in a hardcore fashion? Well, my girlfriend(?) Yuka (who is Japanese and resides in Japan) just up and disappeared from my life about five months ago. No “see ya!” No “sayonara!” No nothing! She wished me a merry Christmas before I moved to Hawaii and that was it.

To say the least, it worried me and bothered me, but we had been apart almost a year and I could understand if she wanted to move onward and upward… definitely upward as I am a total lazy-o-tron. I was also busy with school and living in a new place, so I really didn’t think about it much. I figured she would come out from her hiding place and at least tell me something.

Well, now that school is over, I have had time to reflect on life and her. I decided to make a concerted push to find out what happened to her so I could at least have some closure. I honestly don’t think I can be with another woman until I know what the situation is. My loyalty has never been shaken, so it’s not like I don’t have the time. But I do need to move on and I need to know what happened.

So how do you find someone who speaks a different language, is a complete luddite (no internet or computers—just her mobile phone with email), has apparently changed phone numbers and has what is basically a P.O. box at a department store? Yeah, if you and your banjo guessed that it has been a seemingly impossible task, then your banjo is correct. Look, I know you are whipped by the banjo, so don’t feed me that line about you thinking for yourself. You’re such a tool!

So I have been asking for people’s help all over the place. This lovely gal in Switzerland happens to know a Japanese man that knows some influential folks in the area where Yuka was last seen, so that is promising. I also asked my manager for help… although that is like asking your banjo for help, or a SCUBA diving guitar. I get no respect from all of the aforementioned! Anyway, I also emailed some complete strangers in her area that might have known her. I’m stretching my reach as far as I can on this one.

On top of that, I vainly tried to search for ANY information about her on the endless pit that is the internet. Let’s just say that was futile in both Japanese and English. I spent almost two whole days exhaustively searching for any permeation of details about her in English and Japanese. Total bust! As far as Yuka is concerned, she only exists in person! I hope wasn’t just feverishly imagining her in a premature state of dementia!

I thought I wouldn’t give Yuka the luxury of complete anonymity and make her a tad visible on the Internet, at least through my little, crappy blog here. I just want to reassure myself she exists and is alive. So here is some information about a lovely girl named Yuka who disappeared from my life Christmas Day, 2005.

Name: Ishibashi Yuka (石橋　有佳)
Age: 36
Birth date: June 25, 1969
Height: Approximately 5’3” (164cm)
Weight: Thin!
Hobbies: Boxing, Japanese Tea Ceremony, Kyudo (Japanese Archery)
Pets: 1 cat named Mew (Miu? Myu?)
Occupation: Graphic Designer
Last known locations: Takefu-shi, Fukui-shi, Sabae-shi, Tsuruga-shi all in Fukui-ken
Known Relatives: One brother (I can’t remember if he’s older or younger), a father and a mother (whom she lived with)

That should be enough. I’m such a retard and forgot her business name that she sold. The lack of information is my fault. I’m not a questions kind of guy… not that she would understand most of my questions, anyway. That language barrier can be difficult!

And that is my story. I’m not desperately hoping that we can still be together, so don’t paint me THAT desperate. Sure, I stink a little of desperation (and fake crab), but I’m not scraping for something that’s gone. I just want closure. Rock it!